....................................................................

that's how u can describe my life now,if u could call it a life actually.i wake up,go to school,by the way i LOVE to go to school now and i'm pretty darn upset that it's gonna end in 2 days cause school's where my troubles go away,where i can just sleep peacefully and where my friends are.

currently my mum is not talking to me,i think she's given up on us already,sad to say but yea.erm....sunday was bad,monday was worse.

ok even if we're not on good terms i still have to say happy b'day papa!

anyway my brothers are actually very insensitive to us,matt doesn't care bout anything bout himself and well,let's not go to joash.life sucks now,in my family i only have sam to rely on.i swear without her,i'd commit suicide in my current situation.

so yesterday my phoone got confiscated,and my dad used some really harsh words,i dun wanna sear anymore,i'm so tired of using that word already.every night i cry myself to sleep,seriously,or else i can't sleep,i wake up every morning with a spliting headache,a bad runny nose and swollen eyes.the hurt i feel is incomparable to anyone elses.u feel like ur worthless,u feel unloved,u feel pathetic,u feel hated,and to top it off,it feels like it doesn't matter if ur dead or alive.no i'm not thinking of dying now but i honestly can't see myself living with their attitude towards me.

life's unfair,especially to us.

i'm sorry if i've beeen drained of my energy lately,fuzz i'm sorry if u feel a bit awkward when i asked about amsyar today,i'm just really really upset and i can't think straight.i was sad yea,that i couldn't go out with u guys,like after we settled things out,i dun get the chance to hang out with u guys,i wanted to go out with u guys today but i guess i can't.i'm not angry with u dun worry,if i seem like last time,when i withdraw myself from the convo,it's cause of my family problems.sigh....i dunno what to do really,i'm just barely living one day at a time.so yea.i still luv ya hun so dun take my actions to heart now k?

oh and ten,thx for always being there,ur like a sisi nvr had,wait.....sammy ur still my bestest twin sis=).now a days,in school i just wanna rest and i think i'm the most comfortable around u,u dun ask qn or say anything but ur there and i feel very comforted by it.i'm gonna miss u when u go to phuket=(.

Labels: my head feels like splitting apart.

Vanished in the air @ 9:19 PM